


December Looks So Much Like June

by sixoutoften



Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-14
Updated: 2013-04-14
Packaged: 2017-12-08 10:40:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/760434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sixoutoften/pseuds/sixoutoften
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Quick fic based off of Alone by Jon Walker.</p>
            </blockquote>





	December Looks So Much Like June

Jon wakes up earlier than usual. He rolls over, cheek pressed into his pillow, legs tangled in the blankets. He looks at his clock. It's 10 in the morning, the numbers glaring at him in an angry red.

Jon sighs. He doesn't want to get up, doesn't want to be awake. He wants to fall back asleep and dream, and stay asleep for a few more hours, days, whatever.

He sits up despite himself, rubbing his hands over his face, prying the tiredness from his eyes with his fingers.

He groans inwardly as he rises out of bed; he hates being alone.

-

Jon shivers. He's not sure why; it's June, bright and sunny outside. He figures he's colder when there's nothing to do, no one beside him.

He wants to sit back, pull his knees to his chest, hug his legs close, warm up. But one hand is busy holding his phone to his ear, the other tapping a melody from his head against the table in front of him.

On the other line, Spencer says he loves Jon, misses him. Jon ignores the goosebumps on his skin.

-

Really, Jon wishes he'd never left.

Back then, he thought it'd be better. Better for him, better for his friends. He thought that he would be happy. He thought he'd had nothing to lose.

But just one day after he'd said goodbye, his phone rang, and a very choked up Spencer was there on the other line, telling Jon he loved him.

It's been like that ever since, just phone calls; they meet up every now and again, but mostly it's just that, just talking and wishing they were together.

-

When Jon hangs up, it occurs to him how much time has passed. He was going to lie down, call it an early night, but then his phone rang and the hours passed, and suddenly it was 10 pm.

Jon wonders where the time goes. It passes quicker and quicker with each new day. He doesn't even do much anymore, feels like he's wasting away most days, and really, shouldn't that make time move slower?

He turns his head and glances at his phone, thinks of calling Spencer back, asking if time works that way with him, if his days come and go before he can do anything with them.

But Spencer is still touring, and is probably in bed by now, sleeping early so he can get up early, get ready for shows.

Jon sighs, closes his eyes and falls asleep holding on to the words he wishes he could say.

-

Jon pulls his phone from his pocket, checking the time, and the soft glow of the screen paints his face a bright blue. It's 3 in the morning, and he's on a plane headed east.

Spencer had called yesterday, told Jon they were staying in a hotel in New York for a week while they played shows in the area. A week was good enough for Jon, was perfect for Jon, and so he'd booked the next flight over.

He smiles to himself, and he closes his eyes, but they sting from having been kept open so long, when Jon had absentmindedly been staring out the window.

He sighs. He's not going to get any sleep tonight, but that doesn't matter. He's going home (or, at least, he's going to Spencer, and home for him is anywhere Spencer is).

-

Jon kisses him when he sees him, has to, can't help it. Spencer smiles into the kiss, wrapping his arms around Jon’s neck, Jon’s hands resting on the small of Spencer's back. They break away and hug each other closer, and Jon murmurs, “Missed you so much,” into Spencer's neck.

-

Jon sighs when he rolls off of Spencer, moving to lie beside him. “Fuck,” Spencer breathes out, and Jon reaches up, graces his fingertips over Spencer's cheek. Spencer's head falls to the side, facing Jon, and Jon kisses him, warm and soft and familiar.

When they break apart to breathe, Jon nudges at Spencer's side until he rolls over, Jon shifting to press his chest to Spencer's back, slinging an arm over his waist.

It's hot and sweaty and stuffy in the hotel room, but Spencer tugs at the blanket until it covers them up, and they fall asleep like that, wrapped in each other's company.

-

The week passes by slowly, pleasantly so, with Jon and Spencer not leaving each other's side unless Spencer had to leave for a few hours to play shows with the band, something that only happened twice. Most of the time the two had just sat together, holding each other close, making up for lost time.

But still, the week was over before they knew it, both of them solemn and admittedly upset as they lay down for their last night together, before Jon flew back to Chicago and Spencer flew to the next touring spot.

Jon tells Spencer, once the lights are out and they're under the covers, how he wishes he could stay with Spencer longer. Spencer kisses Jon’s forehead and shushes him, twining his legs with Jon’s and closing his eyes.

It's not much longer until Jon falls asleep, too, with Spencer's soft, even breaths serving as his lullaby.

-

When Jon wakes up, it's bright in the hotel room, light peeking in from behind the curtains and shining against the white walls. Spencer looks especially pale now, his eyelashes dark against his cheeks. Jon watches him until he opens his eyes, blue and gleaming.

Jon smiles at him, small, cups Spencer's face in his hand. Spencer doesn't smile back.

-

Jon’s spent the morning so far wondering what happens next, what he does, where he goes. It's around noon when Spencer tells him that he and Brendon have their flight later in the afternoon, and reminds Jon that he has one soon, too.

Jon nods, and he figures that sometime soon, he'll just have to get up and go, no matter how much he doesn't want to.

-

When Jon goes to sleep, it's late; he didn't let himself relax until Spencer had called him, assured him that he was safe and sound off his plane.

Jon climbs into his bed, which is really too big for just him, and it feels too empty when he's alone.

No, he tells himself, he's not alone, he knows that, isn't alone and isn't afraid. He may not have Spencer here with him, at least not now, but he'll never be alone.


End file.
